Hey, Listen! Your Body is Talking

I'm back, dear readers. Thanks for the encouragement, comments, information and questions so many of you passed to me through the blog. I love to hear from you. Sorry for the brief absence, but there are times when one has to pause for the cause.

My body was strong on Monday, but shut down onTuesday. The challenges of dealing with acute arthritis, diabetes and sleep apnea.

I do not know why my energy sources are depleted at certain points. One minute, the batteries have a full charge.  Usually, the cycle is high at sunrise and burned out by sunset.  As the energy levels run down, sometime I can switch to auxiliary power - a couple of squares of dark chocolate, a hand full of nuts, or an apple or banana - to take me a few more hours. Then there are those times that come with age and my condition when the body launches a complete system shutdown.

That was Tuesday. I felt a little weary, reclined about 10 a.m. for a short nap and awakened around 5:30 p.m. Welcome to my world. The heart wants what it wants, but the body does not even ask. I do not get a vote.

I got used to weariness, and accept the lapse in energy as a legitimate aid to health. I do not believe in energy drinks or coffee for a quick boost, or to fight off the warning signals that flash in the recesses of my brain, when "Lola," the little silent voice impassively informs me, "System shutdown in five...four...three...two...one." Lights out!!!

Anyway, this is my way to say, listen to your body. The little signs and inklings that are around you are ignored at your peril. Yield when you experience an imbalance or a sense of dissonance in the body's response. Whatever you think is such an emergency - other than kids or a pot on the stove - will still be there tomorrow, or someone else can handle it.

Now, there are probably some hard-driving careerists, medical people or athletes that see my advice as far too wimpy for consideration. They subscribe to the Arnold Schwarzenegger School of Thought. "The mind is the limit," he once said. "As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it, as long as you really believe 100 percent."

Well, Arnold,  on Tuesday I believed 100 percent that I would fulfill the days schedule. My body did not. "Lola" does not debate.

I am more a disciple of the Indian actress Kajol, who says: "The best thing you can do for your body is sleep. It's simple. Cater to your body as much as to your mind. Your body, after all, houses your mind. You have to pay attention to your physicality as much as your mentality."

Wednesday was a blur of doctor meetings, but I was back in the rough. Unfortunately, there was not enough time to write about Tuesday. Thursday was taken up in meetings with other writers and errands with and for the grandchildren. Nonetheless, I could not let the week days end without the expression of this one insight about the need to respect and submit to the body.

Parting thought - Bernie Siegel, retired pediatric surgeon and author of popular health books during the 1980s and early 1990s, such as says the New York Times bestseller Peace, Love & Healing: BodyMind Communication & the Path to Self Healing, casts the messages from your bodily spirit as a dialog. He once wrote, "Your body loves you, but if you do not love your life, it will end it far sooner, thinking it is doing you a favor."

Let's Chat About Fat

Monday was a step up from Sunday. Pain in the knees was at nine, and the rest of my body stayed at a comparatively calm eight. Some of those who read this might wonder why I celebrate. "You're still hurting," they might say. True. At the same time, one learns to be grateful for any little break.

Gratefulness came to mind yesterday when I read a story on fat. Most people assume there is no room for fat in wellness. There are so many commercials on television and radio that paint fat as the enemy. The hypers try to make believe that our lives won't be complete until all fat is wiped from the face of the Earth. I am grateful, because the article I read said humans need fat to live. 

If you know about fat, this brief entry might bore you. If not, bear with my distillation of what I learned - good fat energizes me, keeps the skin and hair healthy, aids some vitamin absorption, and provides a layer of warmth.

I heard about saturated and unsaturated fat, but I never understood the difference. Saturated, generally found in animal products and vegetable oils, clogs you. It leads to high cholesterol and perhaps heart attacks. Unsaturated fats, monounsaturated and polyunsaturated included, are good.

"Polyunsaturated fats include the famed omega 3 and omega 6 fats, both considered essential fatty acids, because our bodies can't make them on its own," the article said. "Polyunsaturated fats can help lower total cholesterol, while monounsaturated fats can raise "good" cholesterol, or HDL, and lower "bad" cholesterol, or LDL."

To get the suggested 20 to 35 percent of the "good fat" in my diet, the article said to eat more avocado, nuts (especially almonds), fish with high fat content (such as salmon), olives (oil included), eggs, and flax and other types of seeds. According to what I read, in the long run the result of such a shift in diet will make me a lot more healthy. For that, I would be be very grateful.

The Will and The Way

The pleasure of the crisp freshness in the air outside my body at 7 a.m., when I began the morning walk held a strong contrast to rotten pain in my knees. The 60-some-degrees temp here in Orlando was not far in its feel from 50-something i used to feel in Rochester. In fact, the weather chart says that is about how the weather there began today. Nonetheless, weather is changeable, yet my knee aches are a constant.

To use a doctor's measure - how much does it hurt on a scale from one to ten - most of every 24-hours the knees are a nine or ten, while the rest of the joints are a solid eight. This morning, the right knee was a 12, and the left fought hard for first place. That said, with a few pauses and a lot of time, I made the three-mile circuit around the neighborhood.

As Victor Hugo once said, "People do not lack strength, they lack will." Not to be dramatic, but there is much to be said for the force of human will. I willed myself in the sporadic trudge of my footsteps against the concrete sidewalks to not turn around. I allowed myself to sit a few times on the benches along the way, but not to turn back. I felt a little embarrassed as the joggers and other walkers looped me, but remained determined.

That is fate for those who want to fight the effects of rheumatoid arthritis or diabetes. We have to fight against the forces within our minds and hearts that tell us that the pain is larger or stronger than the will a human can muster. We have to resist the deceptive inner voice that whispers, You will be better off and pain-free in the comfy chair or bed.

In the quiet of this Sunday morning, I found the pain to be pretty big and fierce in its appearance. The inner voice came up with at least a half-dozen sound excuses for me to relent, but the will kicked in. In moments when the hurt was so severe that I almost saw the logic in compromise with the excuses, I reached out to The Way - God.

I mean, we say that God is bigger and stronger than any force that can come against us, right? I shut down the whisper with a silent plea to God for the strength to enforce my will.

When I reached the halfway point, the right knee, which is bone-on-bone, was warm and swollen. That is my body saying, "Danger. Danger." For those who do not believe in talking bodies, it is like driving a flat on the rims. The left knee, which makes a sound like loose change, just throbbed. Again, the left knee yearns to best the right, and not come off as wimpy.

Well, after a rest at the halfway mark, I stood and slowly shuffled one foot in front of the other. There is no heroics in that. If you wish to walk, you have to step. If you want to beat back the effects of arthritis, you have to move. If you want to kick diabetes, you need exercise. If I wanted to get back home, I needed to start. As the feet moved closer toward the goal on the ground, the gospel music in my ears lifted my spirit. The sights of the rising sun, palm trees, ponds, greenery and various kinds of wildlife, from squirrels to flying heron gave my mind a focus that pushed past the hurt. I even took the long way around, instead of the shortcut, to the front door.

I am no superman, yet I am also not devoid of The Will or The Way. I will use that knowledge as the months and years of this effort continue. I found no small coincidence in the fact that as I entered the last block to the house, Hezekiah Walker's choir sang, "Every praise is to our God." I sang along.

Use the YouTube link in the text above if the video doesn't load.

Back in Action

I'm back. The Rest of Me was silent for awhile, yet the saga continues.

I don't have any one excuse for the lack of communication. Write the blog!, I told myself every day. Literally. An array of problems stayed the good thoughts, and tamped my desire to communicate. I could tell stories, but I won't. Suffice to state, the issues included everything from the time I overstressed myself walking and was flattened by back pain for three days to the need to deal with other people's issues. This morning, I recalled an old adage: "To think is easy; to act is difficult," someone once said. "To act as one thinks is the most difficult of all."

I and many people want changes in our lives. We think about them. We visualize them. The problem - some people do every thing except act on them. That is why many people do not get what they say they want. Frequently, I just do, rather than to talk, think or visualize the results I want. The action always seem to bring me

the sense of balance and harmony, because to not verbalize the desire lowers the pressure that comes with a high level of expectation.

For example, last month I start a blog. Impatience crept in not long after I began. I wanted the blog to appeal to readers. I wanted the digital diary to be dynamic in its own way, yet appeal to others without coming off as a crude attempt by yet another netizen to "live out loud." The impatience and high expectations made me over think the blog writing, which quickly led me to a general dissatisfaction with the whole process.  Believe it or not, all of that happened in less than two months. I decided to forget thoughts about what will happen, and just do.

The same with the activities involved in this journey toward mental, physical and spiritual balance and harmony. There are times when I over-think details. Now, I just write.

I became focused too much on weight-loss a few weeks ago. I weighed myself on about five different scales. Every machine, digital and mechanical,  showed a different result. The only sure thing is that that I now weigh somewhere between 353 and 316 pounds. I almost pulled the plug on the effort because the weight-loss seemed to creep too slowly, or because I did not like the tease of joy that came with the thought that the pounds fell off pretty fast. Frustration with the lack of consistency or accuracy led me to act. I told myself to forget the weight, just do.

I walk, watch the diet, keep positive thoughts, search for wellness education or insights, and finally, write The Rest of Me because those things will take me away from the state I was in when the journey began. My actions do not guarantee to take me to any specific destination. I have a place in my where I would like my life to go, but no guarantees I might ever reach someplace inspired by expectation. My actions will take me from where I was. That is enough. Where I might end up with this blog, and this journey are a mystery. All of that means I can look forward to something. Since I do not control the outcome, I will have to hope that the journey takes me to a better place than it found me. At least, I hope that I can act on my thoughts.

Dawn is not far off. That is when I walk. I hope today's trip around the neighborhood will inspire another entry.

The Jumble

I used to like to do puzzles in the daily newspaper that featured words with the letters scrambled. I would figure out the correct word, and write it on an allotted line where some of the letter spaces were circled. Every letter in a circle was to be later used to unscramble a single, correct word to complete an often comical, sometimes ironic, sentence featured in the game.

Today I feel like my life is that puzzle. I have not been able to find enough time to write this week, but I need to say something about the fact that I feel as if everything around me is in a jumble. I am walking every morning, weigh somewhere between 343 and 353 pounds, which means I have lost anywhere from 24 to 34 pounds throughout the past month. I should be pleased, but no. I have begun to notice a little more space around the waste in my trousers. For some people that would be a joyous occasion. Not me. I am puzzled. I feel like when I stared at the out-of-order letters in the puzzle - there is something in this that is important to understand, but I have to figure it out. The answer is not clear.

By now, I should have reached a point where I have a good grasp on the meaning and direction of this journey toward better physical, mental and spiritual harmony and balance. I don't. The only thing I can see is that the future, as the puzzle letters, will not take a meaningful shape unless I am patient. I cannot understand what is clearly in front of me unless I continue to seek a solution. I recall some letter combinations that almost seemed impossible, yet the puzzle promises every group leads to a word. Like those words, the jumble in my life right now will suddenly become clear. The mystery of what I am doing, how I should do, why I am doing this, and where it might lead will someday be answered. The key is to keep trying.